Secret
Stanza Six – Secret Past
ts.
Oh my god, Joyce.
What have you done?
***
“Kasumi had wanted Mizuki to bear Richard's surname, and since I was the closest thing she had to a relative, mine had to be included as well. For legal reasons.
Mizuki did not have a smooth-sailing life right from the get-go.
At three, she almost drowned in the bathtub during a bath.
At five, she developed an inferiority complex and shunned away from everyone, including myself.
At eight, she was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism, which aggravated her inferiority complex.
From that year onwards, Mizuki has been popping pills and undergoing thousands of treatment sessions just to keep her condition under control.
It’s not easy, but the girl managed to maintain some semblance of a normal life.
Over time she started to talk to me more, to my utmost relief and elation.
That is…
Until she started secondary school.
In her previous school, one of her male classmates was constantly taking care of her…Seeing to her every need in school.
Homework, projects, fending off bullies…he even carried her up the stairs once.
Mizuki, as innocent as she is, thought that it was the start of something good, something that could help heal her battered body.
Heal her loneliness.
She came back home everyday with a smile on her face, and I thought that the girl’s suffering had finally come to an end.
However…
As it turned out, the boy was only being nice to Mizuki for the records.
He wanted to enroll in some high class school, and he needed the record of his conduct to show.
As soon as Mizuki entered his class, the boy had her in his sights.
She was meek, weak and frail, the perfect target for his gentlemanly endeavors.
And my poor foster daughter thought they had a special connection, and continued to believe so until the day the boy stopped being nice to her.
Once his goal had been accomplished, he didn’t need to be nice to her any longer.
And of all days, he had to pick the day when Mizuki wanted to give him a mug she spent days making all by herself to break the news to her.
He put it to her directly, with no empathy whatsoever: he was only being a gentleman to Mizuki only for his conduct record, and that he simply could not stand one more minute in her presence.
Mizuki took it hard.
She was warded for clinical depression soon after, and stayed in the hospital for almost a year.
At that time, her pulmonary embolism also went nuts, giving her attacks as and when it liked.
During those dark days, I really thought Mizuki wasn’t going to make it.
I would have failed Kasumi.
Luckily for us, Mizuki came through, although her body is still significantly weak.
After that whole episode, I had her transferred to my school, to keep an eye on her.
Both of us kept our kinship a secret, for fear of ridicule, teasing and a repeat of history.
Nonetheless, despite all that I did, history still repeated itself.”
***
What?
Why is Mr. Lee looking at me like that?
Oh god.
...
I’m the cause of this mess.
***
“She came home one fine day and said that there was someone in school who caught her eye.
She had a crush.
Her doctors had warned me not to agitate her in any way to reduce the possibility of her attacks, and the one thing that would surely induce an attack was relationships with the opposite gender.
Nevertheless, Fate is a nasty thing - it made that exact thing happen.
I asked her who he is, and she told me it was the person sitting in front of her.
The school basketball team captain, the class scholar, the “Girl Killer”.
You, Rickson.
She was infatuated with you.
Apparently, her crush started when she saw you diving into harm’s way to save a kitten from being crushed by a car on the school porch.
That, coupled with the way you help your friends and stuff, made Mizuki fall completely in love with you.
She was really smitten.
To prevent the tragedy that had befallen before, I ran a check on your records.
And…you guys know the rest.
She really is your half-sister.
She didn’t take it so well, although slightly better than the previous time.
She believed that fact, but also didn’t want to believe it.
So, the only thing she could do was to hide and observe you from afar.
Like a shadow.
She knows that she cannot love you like Joyce can, therefore all she can do is to silently, saliently love you from afar.
I ask you now Rickson, is it worth it?”
***
…
Mizuki…
All this while you had been looking at me from behind the pillars, behind the walls…
You were too afraid to be let down again…
Too hurt to take another stroke of damage…
Therefore you confined all your feelings to yourself.
It was me.
I talked to you.
I unleashed the feelings you had kept inside for so long.
I caused you to suffer yet another attack.
I am so sorry.
I am so…so…sorry.
I didn’t know…
...
I have to find her!
She doesn’t have to suffer like this any longer!
...
Joyce…
I’m sorry too.
“Joyce, I’m sorry, but I have to do this. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. You’ll find someone better.”
***
“Joyce, I’m sorry, but I have to do this. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. You’ll find someone better.”
What?
What’s the meaning of this…
Is Rickson…breaking…up…with me?
No…
Why did it end like this…
No it can't!
“Is this the only wa-“
Where is he going?
Mizuki!
***
The wind.
It feels so cool, so gentle…
So carefree.
All those cars…all those people down below…
They look like ants from up here.
There are so many people down there.
One insignificant me won’t make much of a difference to anyone.
To this world of pain and sadness.
…
Okay, maybe Father will feel sad.
But I’m sure he will move on.
Oh…I’m feeling dizzy again…
Is it just me or is this ledge shaky?
Is the building shaking?
Why am I sliding off...
Oh no.
The ledge is giving way!
“AHHHH!”
Stanza Six ---------- End
Stanza Six – Secret Past
Mr. Lee?
Mr. Lee is Mizuki’s foster father?
That kinda makes sense, she has his surname.
As well as Rickson’s dad’s.
But they don’t seem like father and daughter.
What on earth is going on?
“Mr. Lee, what is …”
“Sit down you two, I’ll explain everything.”
***
Finally.
Some answers.
But they’re coming from the person I least expected.
But they are still answers.
Let’s go.
***
All I wanted was the warmth of your hands, your gentle touch.
Your smile.
Dear God.
Are those too much to ask for?
Why is this happening to me?
Again...
Why…me.?
Oka-san…
I’m alone again…
Why did you leave me alone on this painful world?
Where are you?
...
I don’t want this.
I don’t want this life anymore.
It’s too painful.
My heart…
It feels wrenched up…
Wrecked…
Broken.
But no.
How can my heart possibly break…
…When it wasn’t even whole to start with.
***
“Mizuki’s mum met your dad when he was in Tokyo on a business trip.
A young lad he was then: full of drive, confidence, money and of course…
Recklessness.
All in the course of a week, Richard met Mizuki’s mother, chatted her up, asked her out and conceived Mizuki.
Of course, her mother did not know it until four months after Richard had left Japan.
Richard came back to Singapore under the pretext of his business, but in reality – as Mizuki’s mother found out later – he really returned to marry your biological mother.
It was already planned before he left for his business trip.
The brief romance he had with Kasumi was really, a fling.”
***
My god!
How can my dad do that!
This is so…so…
Sad.
Mizuki…
***
“I met Kasumi a few weeks after Richard left for Singapore, but only got close to her after she found out she was pregnant.
She needed someone by her side to tide her through.
I asked her once, did she really want the baby?
She replied without a moment’s hesitation: ‘Yes.’
It was the only connection left between Richard and her, she said.
After arriving in Singapore, He had severed all links with Kasumi.
Mizuki is…the proof of their brief, passionate relationship.
And even if it cost her her life, she was determined to see her baby born.
And…it did.
She had a difficult birth, and the only way to save one was to let the other die.
At the hospital, the one thing that Kasumi said then was the one thing that sealed my resolve to raise Mizuki as my own.
She said: ‘The baby’s innocent. Save her.”
With that, I watched as the doctors worked to bring Mizuki into the world, at the expense of Kasumi’s life, which withered away slowly before my very eyes.”
***
Oh my god.
Mizuki’s mom’s…
Dead.
She really is all alone in this world.
I thought she was just a weird kid around school, not bringing her parents to school activities.
She doesn’t have any.
She…doesn’t…have…any…paren
Mr. Lee is Mizuki’s foster father?
That kinda makes sense, she has his surname.
As well as Rickson’s dad’s.
But they don’t seem like father and daughter.
What on earth is going on?
“Mr. Lee, what is …”
“Sit down you two, I’ll explain everything.”
***
Finally.
Some answers.
But they’re coming from the person I least expected.
But they are still answers.
Let’s go.
***
All I wanted was the warmth of your hands, your gentle touch.
Your smile.
Dear God.
Are those too much to ask for?
Why is this happening to me?
Again...
Why…me.?
Oka-san…
I’m alone again…
Why did you leave me alone on this painful world?
Where are you?
...
I don’t want this.
I don’t want this life anymore.
It’s too painful.
My heart…
It feels wrenched up…
Wrecked…
Broken.
But no.
How can my heart possibly break…
…When it wasn’t even whole to start with.
***
“Mizuki’s mum met your dad when he was in Tokyo on a business trip.
A young lad he was then: full of drive, confidence, money and of course…
Recklessness.
All in the course of a week, Richard met Mizuki’s mother, chatted her up, asked her out and conceived Mizuki.
Of course, her mother did not know it until four months after Richard had left Japan.
Richard came back to Singapore under the pretext of his business, but in reality – as Mizuki’s mother found out later – he really returned to marry your biological mother.
It was already planned before he left for his business trip.
The brief romance he had with Kasumi was really, a fling.”
***
My god!
How can my dad do that!
This is so…so…
Sad.
Mizuki…
***
“I met Kasumi a few weeks after Richard left for Singapore, but only got close to her after she found out she was pregnant.
She needed someone by her side to tide her through.
I asked her once, did she really want the baby?
She replied without a moment’s hesitation: ‘Yes.’
It was the only connection left between Richard and her, she said.
After arriving in Singapore, He had severed all links with Kasumi.
Mizuki is…the proof of their brief, passionate relationship.
And even if it cost her her life, she was determined to see her baby born.
And…it did.
She had a difficult birth, and the only way to save one was to let the other die.
At the hospital, the one thing that Kasumi said then was the one thing that sealed my resolve to raise Mizuki as my own.
She said: ‘The baby’s innocent. Save her.”
With that, I watched as the doctors worked to bring Mizuki into the world, at the expense of Kasumi’s life, which withered away slowly before my very eyes.”
***
Oh my god.
Mizuki’s mom’s…
Dead.
She really is all alone in this world.
I thought she was just a weird kid around school, not bringing her parents to school activities.
She doesn’t have any.
She…doesn’t…have…any…paren
Oh my god, Joyce.
What have you done?
***
“Kasumi had wanted Mizuki to bear Richard's surname, and since I was the closest thing she had to a relative, mine had to be included as well. For legal reasons.
Mizuki did not have a smooth-sailing life right from the get-go.
At three, she almost drowned in the bathtub during a bath.
At five, she developed an inferiority complex and shunned away from everyone, including myself.
At eight, she was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism, which aggravated her inferiority complex.
From that year onwards, Mizuki has been popping pills and undergoing thousands of treatment sessions just to keep her condition under control.
It’s not easy, but the girl managed to maintain some semblance of a normal life.
Over time she started to talk to me more, to my utmost relief and elation.
That is…
Until she started secondary school.
In her previous school, one of her male classmates was constantly taking care of her…Seeing to her every need in school.
Homework, projects, fending off bullies…he even carried her up the stairs once.
Mizuki, as innocent as she is, thought that it was the start of something good, something that could help heal her battered body.
Heal her loneliness.
She came back home everyday with a smile on her face, and I thought that the girl’s suffering had finally come to an end.
However…
As it turned out, the boy was only being nice to Mizuki for the records.
He wanted to enroll in some high class school, and he needed the record of his conduct to show.
As soon as Mizuki entered his class, the boy had her in his sights.
She was meek, weak and frail, the perfect target for his gentlemanly endeavors.
And my poor foster daughter thought they had a special connection, and continued to believe so until the day the boy stopped being nice to her.
Once his goal had been accomplished, he didn’t need to be nice to her any longer.
And of all days, he had to pick the day when Mizuki wanted to give him a mug she spent days making all by herself to break the news to her.
He put it to her directly, with no empathy whatsoever: he was only being a gentleman to Mizuki only for his conduct record, and that he simply could not stand one more minute in her presence.
Mizuki took it hard.
She was warded for clinical depression soon after, and stayed in the hospital for almost a year.
At that time, her pulmonary embolism also went nuts, giving her attacks as and when it liked.
During those dark days, I really thought Mizuki wasn’t going to make it.
I would have failed Kasumi.
Luckily for us, Mizuki came through, although her body is still significantly weak.
After that whole episode, I had her transferred to my school, to keep an eye on her.
Both of us kept our kinship a secret, for fear of ridicule, teasing and a repeat of history.
Nonetheless, despite all that I did, history still repeated itself.”
***
What?
Why is Mr. Lee looking at me like that?
Oh god.
...
I’m the cause of this mess.
***
“She came home one fine day and said that there was someone in school who caught her eye.
She had a crush.
Her doctors had warned me not to agitate her in any way to reduce the possibility of her attacks, and the one thing that would surely induce an attack was relationships with the opposite gender.
Nevertheless, Fate is a nasty thing - it made that exact thing happen.
I asked her who he is, and she told me it was the person sitting in front of her.
The school basketball team captain, the class scholar, the “Girl Killer”.
You, Rickson.
She was infatuated with you.
Apparently, her crush started when she saw you diving into harm’s way to save a kitten from being crushed by a car on the school porch.
That, coupled with the way you help your friends and stuff, made Mizuki fall completely in love with you.
She was really smitten.
To prevent the tragedy that had befallen before, I ran a check on your records.
And…you guys know the rest.
She really is your half-sister.
She didn’t take it so well, although slightly better than the previous time.
She believed that fact, but also didn’t want to believe it.
So, the only thing she could do was to hide and observe you from afar.
Like a shadow.
She knows that she cannot love you like Joyce can, therefore all she can do is to silently, saliently love you from afar.
I ask you now Rickson, is it worth it?”
***
…
Mizuki…
All this while you had been looking at me from behind the pillars, behind the walls…
You were too afraid to be let down again…
Too hurt to take another stroke of damage…
Therefore you confined all your feelings to yourself.
It was me.
I talked to you.
I unleashed the feelings you had kept inside for so long.
I caused you to suffer yet another attack.
I am so sorry.
I am so…so…sorry.
I didn’t know…
...
I have to find her!
She doesn’t have to suffer like this any longer!
...
Joyce…
I’m sorry too.
“Joyce, I’m sorry, but I have to do this. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. You’ll find someone better.”
***
“Joyce, I’m sorry, but I have to do this. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. You’ll find someone better.”
What?
What’s the meaning of this…
Is Rickson…breaking…up…with me?
No…
Why did it end like this…
No it can't!
“Is this the only wa-“
Where is he going?
Mizuki!
***
The wind.
It feels so cool, so gentle…
So carefree.
All those cars…all those people down below…
They look like ants from up here.
There are so many people down there.
One insignificant me won’t make much of a difference to anyone.
To this world of pain and sadness.
…
Okay, maybe Father will feel sad.
But I’m sure he will move on.
Oh…I’m feeling dizzy again…
Is it just me or is this ledge shaky?
Is the building shaking?
Why am I sliding off...
Oh no.
The ledge is giving way!
“AHHHH!”
++++
Stanza Six ---------- End
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