Secret - Final Stanza

Secret

Stanza Seven – Final Secret

Where is she? Where is she? Where is she?

Mizuki!

I’m sorry for yelling at you just now…

I didn’t know.

I had no freaking idea that life had been so harsh on you...

And now I’ve done this to you…

You don’t deserve this…

No one does.

I’m gonna make things right.

But…

Where on Earth are you?!

“AHHHH!”

Huh?!

Is that her?!

The roof!

Oh god!

***

Oh no!

Oh no!

The ledge…

It broke.

Have…to…hang…on…

But it hurts…my arm…my hand…

My heart…

I can’t hold on much longer…

My grip…

It’s slipping…

Oh no.

But I’m too tired, too exhausted…

I’m really, really tired.

Maybe this is for the better…

I’m sorry Father, but you’ll have to do without this foolish daughter from now on.

Let this be the last goodbye…

To you…to Oka-san…to…

Him.

I’m really, really tired…

…

“Mizuki!”

…

Huh?

This voice…

It’s him!

But why?

My hand!

Oh no!

***

“Mizuki! Don’t worry! I’ll pull you up!”

Oh my gosh!

What the hell did she do to dangle from the roof like that?!

Was she contemplating suicide?

Oh god…

I’m so sorry…

I will save you!

I must…

Just a little…

More!

***

Ow!

That hurt!

But I’m…

On solid ground again.

He saved me.

He actually pulled me up from the brink of death.

He’s looking at me, with relief washed across his face.

It was like that time, when he saved that little kitten from the front porch…

I can’t escape the fact…

I love him.

I really, really do.

This is it...

“Promise me one thing: whatever happens next, don’t move!”

***

I did it!

I pulled her up!

She’s as light as a feather!

Looks like her illness and stuff has really taken a toll on her petite body…

“Promise me one thing: whatever happens next, don’t move!”

Huh?!

What does she mean by that?

“Don’t move? Wh-”

“Just promise me!”

What is she up to?

“Alright, I won’t!”

She’s crying again…

Oh no…

Huh, why is she running towards me…

So quickly, so…

What?!

“I was so scared!”

***

“I was so scared!”

I’m not letting you go anymore!

Not ever!

I don’t care if I die!

I don’t care if my sickness gets worse!

I don’t care!

All I want to do is to be with you.

Is that so much to ask for?

His heart is beating so quickly…

But his warmth…

Its so…so…

Comfortable.

***

This silly girl.

You actually made me promise you to not move when you came and hugged me.

You are one silly little girl.

“I was so scared!”

Ah, so she was.

“You don’t have to be, everything’s alright now. Everything’s cool.”

She’s hugging me with all her might…

And she’s still shaking from that encounter…

And her tears…

They’re soaking my shirt.

But who cares?

I have her in my arms once more.

***

Rickson…

How can you do this to me?

After I’ve given you my all…

You discard me like used tissue for a girl you’ve barely spoken to.

You are a bastard.

…

I’ll back off for now.

You two won’t last long anyway.

One day, I’ll win you over with my own abilities.

And I’ll make sure you fall head over heels with me…

And be in my grasp forever.

Until that time…

Mizuki…

Please take care of him.

For me.

***

Finally, after all that drama, things are finally in place.

I have her in my arms once more…

And she’s returning it with her all.

This is the start of a new chapter of my life…

With her in it.

This is so awesome.

***

At last…

My dreams have finally solidified into something tangible…

Something real…

Something true.

The feelings were right all along, for both of us.

It feels good to have something work out right.

Finally.

I’m so glad.

***

I know that I’m still young, I still got a chunk of my future ahead of me.

Tertiary education, national service, university…

The road is still long…

For her as well.

Her illness won’t go away…at least until science provides the answer.

She also has her own life to lead, her own dreams to fulfill.

Surely, we will have to part ways some time in the future.

One day, someone more mature, more sensible will take better care of her, someone who truly understands her situation and plight.

***

We’re still so young…

There are a lot of things that can happen in the future.

If not on my side, it will on his side…

Certainly, the time will come when the two of us must part…

Some day, he will meet someone whom he can really share the world with, someone whom he can be with until the end of time…

***

Until that day comes…

***

Till the day…

***

“Shall we head back?”

“Okay.”

***

I'll do anything for your hand,

Holding it till our time is done...

++++

Secret ---------- End

Secret - Stanza Six

Secret

Stanza Six – Secret Past

Mr. Lee?

Mr. Lee is Mizuki’s foster father?

That kinda makes sense, she has his surname.

As well as Rickson’s dad’s.

But they don’t seem like father and daughter.

What on earth is going on?

“Mr. Lee, what is …”

“Sit down you two, I’ll explain everything.”

***

Finally.

Some answers.

But they’re coming from the person I least expected.

But they are still answers.

Let’s go.

***

All I wanted was the warmth of your hands, your gentle touch.

Your smile.

Dear God.

Are those too much to ask for?

Why is this happening to me?

Again...

Why…me.?

Oka-san…

I’m alone again…

Why did you leave me alone on this painful world?

Where are you?

...

I don’t want this.

I don’t want this life anymore.

It’s too painful.

My heart…

It feels wrenched up…

Wrecked…

Broken.

But no.

How can my heart possibly break…

…When it wasn’t even whole to start with.

***

“Mizuki’s mum met your dad when he was in Tokyo on a business trip.

A young lad he was then: full of drive, confidence, money and of course…

Recklessness.

All in the course of a week, Richard met Mizuki’s mother, chatted her up, asked her out and conceived Mizuki.

Of course, her mother did not know it until four months after Richard had left Japan.

Richard came back to Singapore under the pretext of his business, but in reality – as Mizuki’s mother found out later – he really returned to marry your biological mother.

It was already planned before he left for his business trip.

The brief romance he had with Kasumi was really, a fling.”

***

My god!

How can my dad do that!

This is so…so…

Sad.

Mizuki…

***

“I met Kasumi a few weeks after Richard left for Singapore, but only got close to her after she found out she was pregnant.

She needed someone by her side to tide her through.

I asked her once, did she really want the baby?

She replied without a moment’s hesitation: ‘Yes.’

It was the only connection left between Richard and her, she said.

After arriving in Singapore, He had severed all links with Kasumi.

Mizuki is…the proof of their brief, passionate relationship.

And even if it cost her her life, she was determined to see her baby born.

And…it did.

She had a difficult birth, and the only way to save one was to let the other die.

At the hospital, the one thing that Kasumi said then was the one thing that sealed my resolve to raise Mizuki as my own.

She said: ‘The baby’s innocent. Save her.”

With that, I watched as the doctors worked to bring Mizuki into the world, at the expense of Kasumi’s life, which withered away slowly before my very eyes.”

***

Oh my god.

Mizuki’s mom’s…

Dead.

She really is all alone in this world.

I thought she was just a weird kid around school, not bringing her parents to school activities.

She doesn’t have any.

She…doesn’t…have…any…paren

ts.

Oh my god, Joyce.

What have you done?

***

“Kasumi had wanted Mizuki to bear Richard's surname, and since I was the closest thing she had to a relative, mine had to be included as well. For legal reasons.

Mizuki did not have a smooth-sailing life right from the get-go.

At three, she almost drowned in the bathtub during a bath.

At five, she developed an inferiority complex and shunned away from everyone, including myself.

At eight, she was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism, which aggravated her inferiority complex.

From that year onwards, Mizuki has been popping pills and undergoing thousands of treatment sessions just to keep her condition under control.

It’s not easy, but the girl managed to maintain some semblance of a normal life.

Over time she started to talk to me more, to my utmost relief and elation.

That is…

Until she started secondary school.

In her previous school, one of her male classmates was constantly taking care of her…Seeing to her every need in school.

Homework, projects, fending off bullies…he even carried her up the stairs once.

Mizuki, as innocent as she is, thought that it was the start of something good, something that could help heal her battered body.

Heal her loneliness.

She came back home everyday with a smile on her face, and I thought that the girl’s suffering had finally come to an end.

However…

As it turned out, the boy was only being nice to Mizuki for the records.

He wanted to enroll in some high class school, and he needed the record of his conduct to show.

As soon as Mizuki entered his class, the boy had her in his sights.

She was meek, weak and frail, the perfect target for his gentlemanly endeavors.

And my poor foster daughter thought they had a special connection, and continued to believe so until the day the boy stopped being nice to her.

Once his goal had been accomplished, he didn’t need to be nice to her any longer.

And of all days, he had to pick the day when Mizuki wanted to give him a mug she spent days making all by herself to break the news to her.

He put it to her directly, with no empathy whatsoever: he was only being a gentleman to Mizuki only for his conduct record, and that he simply could not stand one more minute in her presence.

Mizuki took it hard.

She was warded for clinical depression soon after, and stayed in the hospital for almost a year.

At that time, her pulmonary embolism also went nuts, giving her attacks as and when it liked.

During those dark days, I really thought Mizuki wasn’t going to make it.

I would have failed Kasumi.

Luckily for us, Mizuki came through, although her body is still significantly weak.

After that whole episode, I had her transferred to my school, to keep an eye on her.

Both of us kept our kinship a secret, for fear of ridicule, teasing and a repeat of history.

Nonetheless, despite all that I did, history still repeated itself.”

***

What?

Why is Mr. Lee looking at me like that?

Oh god.

...

I’m the cause of this mess.

***

“She came home one fine day and said that there was someone in school who caught her eye.

She had a crush.

Her doctors had warned me not to agitate her in any way to reduce the possibility of her attacks, and the one thing that would surely induce an attack was relationships with the opposite gender.

Nevertheless, Fate is a nasty thing - it made that exact thing happen.

I asked her who he is, and she told me it was the person sitting in front of her.

The school basketball team captain, the class scholar, the “Girl Killer”.

You, Rickson.

She was infatuated with you.

Apparently, her crush started when she saw you diving into harm’s way to save a kitten from being crushed by a car on the school porch.

That, coupled with the way you help your friends and stuff, made Mizuki fall completely in love with you.

She was really smitten.

To prevent the tragedy that had befallen before, I ran a check on your records.

And…you guys know the rest.

She really is your half-sister.

She didn’t take it so well, although slightly better than the previous time.

She believed that fact, but also didn’t want to believe it.

So, the only thing she could do was to hide and observe you from afar.

Like a shadow.

She knows that she cannot love you like Joyce can, therefore all she can do is to silently, saliently love you from afar.

I ask you now Rickson, is it worth it?”

***

…

Mizuki…

All this while you had been looking at me from behind the pillars, behind the walls…

You were too afraid to be let down again…

Too hurt to take another stroke of damage…

Therefore you confined all your feelings to yourself.

It was me.

I talked to you.

I unleashed the feelings you had kept inside for so long.

I caused you to suffer yet another attack.

I am so sorry.

I am so…so…sorry.

I didn’t know…

...

I have to find her!

She doesn’t have to suffer like this any longer!

...

Joyce…

I’m sorry too.

“Joyce, I’m sorry, but I have to do this. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. You’ll find someone better.”

***

“Joyce, I’m sorry, but I have to do this. Thank you for everything that you’ve done for me. You’ll find someone better.”

What?

What’s the meaning of this…

Is Rickson…breaking…up…with me?

No…

Why did it end like this…

No it can't!

“Is this the only wa-“

Where is he going?

Mizuki!

***

The wind.

It feels so cool, so gentle…

So carefree.

All those cars…all those people down below…

They look like ants from up here.

There are so many people down there.

One insignificant me won’t make much of a difference to anyone.

To this world of pain and sadness.

…

Okay, maybe Father will feel sad.

But I’m sure he will move on.

Oh…I’m feeling dizzy again…

Is it just me or is this ledge shaky?

Is the building shaking?

Why am I sliding off...

Oh no.

The ledge is giving way!

“AHHHH!”

++++

Stanza Six ---------- End

Secret - Stanza Five

Secret

Stanza Five – Secret Anguish

Where am I?

Where is this place?

It reeks of familiarity…sterility…

The hospital.

Oh I remember now.

I fainted.

Ow, my head hurts.

My vision’s still foggy, and I can’t hear a thing.

I must have forgotten to take my medicine again.

Sheesh, I’m getting more absentminded by the day.

Is it because of him?

Speaking of which, where did he go?

Did he carry me here?

Or did he leave me behind…

No!

He brought me here!

I’m sure of it.

Ah my vision’s starting to clear…

…

Huh?

Joyce?

What is she doing here!

Why is she on the floor like that?

And are those tears in her eyes?

…

Isn’t that him!

But why does he look so crestfallen…

What’s that in his hands?

I can’t see!

Come on vision, clear faster!

Voices, I can hear voices.

My ears must be clearing.

“…sister!”

What?

Why did Joyce say that?

What has a sister got to do wi-

Oh no.

Is that my medical file he’s reading?

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no.

This is not happening.

“Gasp!”

***

What is going on?

What the hell is going on!

Is there anyone who can tell me what is going on?

Why is my father’s name in here?

Why is my father’s name listed as her father?

Does this mean…

No!

It can’t be!

But…

Father’s name: Richard Seras Tan

There’s no mistake.

It is really Dad’s name.

Could it really be…

Ah!

Mom mentioned something about Dad and a brief fling he had before marriage…

Oh my god.

Is Mizuki the result of that mistake of passion?

Answers.

I need answers.

She’s awake.

“Mizuki.

What is the meaning of all this?”

***

Oh no.

He found out.

Oh no.

My secret.

It’s…out.

The secret I’ve been keeping for so long.

He actually found out.

Him.

Of all people.

HIM.

I don’t know what to say.

But I have to say something…

“I…I…”

***

Why is this so?

Why why why!

Ah my head!

It’s hurting!

I need answers!

I need answers NOW!

“I-what?!

Don’t make me ask again!

I’ll make sure you regret not answering the first time.”

***

Oh my goodness.

Why is he so fierce?

So sudden, so swift…

So different from the charming him just a while ago.

It hurts…

My heart hurts from his words…

Like a knife…

My heart’s bleeding.

Again.

…

I knew it.

This was doomed from the start.

The ending was already cast in stone.

I saw the ending.

Yet I foolishly continued to cling on to what little hope I had.

Mizuki, you are the most imprudent girl on this world.

Life is back to its meaningless form.

It has no meaning.

Nothing has.

I’m sick and tired of this…

I want to end…

I want it to all end…

…

I need to get away from this person.

This person who is both the bane, and the light of my life.

What have I done to deserve this?

Oka-san, I’m scared.

I’m really, really scared.

I’ve got to get out of here.

***

What is going through that head of hers?

How can things suddenly spin out of control like that?

Am I on a gameshow?

This is so not cool...

Hey what’s she doing?

Huh!

She yanked out her IV tube!

She’s making a break for the door!

“Hey!”

SLAM.

I gotta go after her!

Click.

Someone’s in the doorway…

Who the hell could it be?

What in the-

“Mr. Lee?”

What the hell is the math teacher doing here?

This thing is going out of proportion by the minute.

I need answers!

“Sir, what are you doing here?”

“My daughter got hospitalized.”

His daughter?

Who?

Oh no.

Could it be…

“I am her foster father.”

++++

Stanza Five ---------- End

Secret - Stanza Four

Secret

Stanza Four – Secret Revelation

I swear, prices are shooting up by the day.

Even canned drinks cost a small meal nowadays!

What gives?

This sucks.

Click.

“Joyce?!”

***

Oh god oh god oh god.

What have I stumbled upon?

No one was meant to see this, not Rickson, and certainly not me…

This is some serious-

Click.

“Joyce?!”

Oh no.

***

What the heck is she doing here?

And what is she doing with that pair of scissors near the IV tube?

“Joyce, what are you doing?”

***

Oh no.

He’s back!

And I’m caught red-handed!

The file!

Must not let him see it!

“Er…I was just in the area and I saw you exit this ward, so I thought of coming in to see who you were visiting.”

He’s so not gonna buy it.

***

Ain’t that convenient?

I bet she has been tailing me the whole time.

That means...

Oh crap.

She must have seen everything.

“Joyce…I can explain…”

***

Explain?

Explain what you moron!

Explain why you chose this sickly girl over someone like me?

You’ll explain alright, you will explain everything.

But not now, not when my heart’s in a million pieces.

“Don’t you say a word. There’s nothing you can say, that would make the pain go away.”

***

Oh no.

My worst fears have come true.

I’ve destroyed her heart.

What have I done?

“Joyce please listen to me!”

***

No I refuse to hear!

“No! I don’t want to hear anymore of your lies! Go away you heartless bastard!”

Oh no!

The file!

***

Now she’s really angry.

Oh boy.

She’s starting her throwing-stuff routine again.

Eh?

This file, its not Joyce’s.

It’s Hers.

Her medical record file.

Ah I knew something was evading me!

I still don’t know her name!

I’m sure this file has it…

“Don’t you dare open that file Rickson! Don't you dare!”

***

Oh no!

He has the file!

Must not let him open it!

“Give it back Rickson! Give me the file!”

***

What?

What is this?

Why is she suddenly so defensive over her love-rival’s file?

This is so unlike her.

What’s in the file?

Oh crap!

“Ouch!”

***

Ha!

I got it back!

Childhood akido lessons weren’t for naught.

Now to get out of here before the file lands in his hands aga-

“Hey Joyce! What’s the matter with you!”

***

The bitch!

That bitch actually tackled me!

What the hell!

It hurts woman!

You’re not going anywhere now!

“Give me the file Joyce, or I’ll really have to take it by force!”

“Do it then you heartless creature! After all I’ve done for you, you repay me with this violence? If you can live with yourself, then do it!”

Ah! This is so maddening!

What exactly is in that file!

I have to see it!

...

Forgive me, Joyce.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!”

***

He really did it!

He forced the file from me!

And it hurts.

Both my arms and my heart.

Rickson…you are a sorry little man.

Is the information within that file more important than me?

Is that girl lying on that bed more important than me?

...

The answer's blatantly obvious.

***

I got it!

Now to see what Joyce has been trying to hide from me, and of course, to finally obtain her real name.

This is so awesome.

I’m sorry Joyce, but you left me with no choice.

Now let’s see…

Ah here it is!

Mizuki S. Lee.

What a wonderful name!

And no wonder she’s so beautiful!

She has Eurasian and Japanese blood!

Mother’s name: Kasumi Lee Hirano

Wow her mom’s a mixed too.

Father’s name: Richard Seras Tan

Hey this name looks familiar...

Wait a minute.

…

What?

This can’t be.

This is…

My…father’s…

Name.

“That’s right, Rickson!

She’s your sister!”

++++

Stanza Four ---------- End

Secret - Stanza Three

Secret

Stanza Three – Secret Ambition

Am I in Heaven?

Dear God, are you playing a trick on me?

Is this some supernatural tribulation I’m supposed to transcend to escape my sad lot?

Or is this a cruel joke cast upon me, an attempt to destroy the very fiber of my being?

Am I even awake?

Is this a dream?

But this feels so real!

His words, his touch, his warm embrace, his…sweet…sweet lips.

He sure lives up to his reputation.

But I still can’t believe it!

All this while I’ve only dared to dream of this remote possibility, much less entertain it.

It has always been a private affair, a forlorn reverie, my personal realm of delusion…

My secret ambition.

All my dreams have finally come to fruition, I’m glad…really, really…glad.

...

But no, we can’t be together…we can never be together.

Not with that secret…no…this can never be…it will never be…

But I want it to be like this forever!

I knew it!

This is a joke cast upon me!

Why is it always like that!

WHY!

***

Why have you evaded me till now, my little girl?

Where have you been all this while?

Although we’ve just made contact, I feel like I’ve known you for many, many years.

Okay, maybe she has been around me for the past three months, peeping at me from behind pillars and walls.

But this awesome feeling, it’s like she’s an extension of my body, the other half to complete my mortal shell.

She is The One.

But Joyce…what about her?

She has been by my side almost everyday for the past nine months, trying her best to fulfill my every desire.

And, given what has transcended last month…I guess I really do owe her something.

Can I really bring myself to do it?

But this girl in my arms right now, the feeling is just so right.

I feel like if I let go, she will disappear away into the sky, like a balloon after being pricked by a pin.

I know something for sure: I don’t want to lose her.

But I don’t want to destroy Joyce’s heart as well.

What am I to do…

***

Why is it always like this?

Why must I fly this high, only to fall so much harder…

Why am I always given false hope, drawn into phony senses of security?

Why, why, WHY?

I’m so sick of this…so tired…I feel like my breath is escaping from my lu-

Oh no.

Not now…please not at this time!

Oh god no, no, no, no, NO!

...

***

“Hey what’s wrong?! Hey! Hey!”

***

Man, that was scary.

How can someone just faint like that all of a sudden?

Did I do something wrong?

Was I pressing on her nerve or something?

I don’t think so.

So strange…

Oh the doctor’s out.

***

“Doctor! How is she?”

“She has just suffered a spontaneous attack from her pulmonary embolism condition. Luckily for her, it isn’t fatal. But I can’t guarantee she will be this lucky the next time.”

“Pulmonary embolism?”

“Basically, her pulmonary arteries, which carry blood to and fro her heart, are blocked by blood clots. She has to be careful of her own feelings and emotions, as certain things, activities or even words can have an adverse effect on her condition. She’s way too young to be going through all this…”

“…Thank you doctor, for everything.”

“It’s my job, just make sure you take care of her, young man.”

***

Pulmonary embolism?

Blocked arteries?

She’s too young to be put through this hell!

She must be taking pills day in and out, being subject to all sorts of treatments and taking every test medical science has to offer.

She’s still so young!

This is so sad!

Why must heaven play such sport on such an innocent young thing?

The world is a cruel place, and she has to go through it all alone and with her illness.

...

That does it.

I will take care of her for the rest of my life.

Someone as beautiful as her doesn’t deserve to live her painful life on her own.

I’m here for you my baby girl, I’m here for you now.

You have nothing to worry about.

...

I need some fresh air.

Hospital walls will always be this claustrophobic, no matter how flowery the wallpaper is.

Click.

***

Click.

Well, well, well.

Look what Fate has done dear Mizuki.

Steal my Rickson will you?

Ha! Heaven is fair!

Look at you now, lying on that bed, with a tube stuck into your wrist.

How sad, how very sad.

But all the better for me.

Once you are out of the way, Rickson will devote his full, undivided attention to me.

And me alone!

Ever since he started noticing you, the amount of attention he showers upon me has dropped.

And its all because of you!

You of all people! The mysterious transfer student!

Why must you barge into my perfect life!

I cannot allow it, I will not allow it.

History must never repeat itself.

…

Your IV tube…wonder what will happen if a silt accidentally appears on it?

Well for one you would forget all the pain you’re in right now, and fade away like a passing cloud.

I know its cruel, but you leave me with no choice.

What’s this?

A file?

Must be your records.

Enjoy these final moments Mizuki, I’m giving you the luxury before I end your tragic life.

Let’s see what’s ailing your petite little body.

…

What?

No, this can’t be.

Oh my god.

No, this…must be a mistake…

No it can’t be!

Oh my god.

No there’s no mistake…this name…

Oh my god.

++++

Stanza Three ---------- End