Secret - Stanza Two

Secret

Stanza Two – Secret Meeting

“So, what did you say to her?”

How can I reply to that question? How do I even attempt to answer that question?

Give an honest reply? Oh please, she’ll chew me to bits and spit out the bones.

Try to smoke out of it? Hmmm…that may work.

Give it a shot.

“Oh nothing much. Just some schoolwork and stuff.”

Hope that worked.

Sorry my dear Joyce but I have to do this.

I need to know.

* * *

Schoolwork?

With an expression like that fixed on that face of yours, you have the cheek to say ‘schoolwork’?

What do you take me for, a three year old little girl?

I could bust you right now, but I want to see what else you have up your sleeves.

I’ll believe you…for the time being.

“Oh ok! You could ask me too you know, about schoolwork!”

* * *

“I will if I need to. Thanks.”

Hmmm…I think I did it.

Awesome, I deserve an Oscar for that outstanding performance.

Right…now we wait…

* * *

Oh the anticipation is killing me!

Two more minutes to dismissal.

TWO.

You might as well call it eternity!

My heart hasn’t stopped pounding ever since he popped the question.

Meet me at the rear gate after school, okay?

Weird, I thought it sounded like…

I love you, I want to be with you forever and ever…

AH!

NO!

My imagination is running wild!

He will never go out with a girl like me…Not in a million years.

Not with my secret.

…

Damn. The truth hurts.

Then again, he has taken the first step, which means he has at least noticed me!

That’s a good start.

Where we go next, I’ll leave it to Fate.

Fate, please be merciful, please let it be true.

Just this time.

RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

* * *

“Alright Joyce, I’ll see you over at your place later to finish up our math homework.”

“Later? Where’re you off to now?”

“The boys need me to settle some stuff for them, I won’t be long though. You just go home first, take a shower and relax for a bit. Then when I come over we can get started right away! Sound good?”

“Hee hee! Okie dokie! I’ll see you later then, boyfriend!”

Phew. That was a close one. Once again I deserve an Oscar for that awesome feat.

Now. Time to put those nagging questions to rest.

And… why is my heart racing like a bullet train?

Am I looking forward to something?

Could it be…that I’m looking forward to meeting her?

Her…Wow.

This is a rather delayed realization: I don’t even know her name.

Good going, ‘Girl Killer’.

Tsk. I don’t even like that nickname.

Time to move.

Be still my racing heart.

* * *

Who does he intend to kid?

The boys need me to settle some stuff for them, I won’t be long though.

As if.

The ‘boys’ you’re talking about all have basketball practice today, so none of them need you to settle ‘stuff’ for them.

I bet my family’s reputation that you’re off to meet someone.

And I bet its her.

I’ll see what you’re gonna do.

And if you so much as dare to even two-time me, she’s in for it.

And I’ll make you suffer.

* * *

Where is he?

Where is he? Where is he? Where is he?

Was it all a lie? Was it a cruel joke cast upon me? Was it really a dream?

OW!

No! It’s not! It’s real! Everything’s real!

Then why has he not arrived? Why has his handsome face not appeared?

Calm down, girl, calm down.

He could be held up somewhere…probably by Joyce.

…

Or…or… one of his guy pals needed him to settle stuff for him!

Yeah that’s it! He’s helping a friend!

What a nice guy. No wonder I’m so…

He’s here!

* * *

Ah! she’s here already!

Oh that sweet, sweet face. I could look at it for hours and…

Eh? Is that possible?

Her eyes.

They’re not sad anymore.

They look…happy.

What’s this?

Why am I feeling warm all over?

Why am I getting the urge to smile?

* * *

He smiled!

He actually smiled at me!

That brilliant smile, normally unseen, is being shown to me!

I’m so glad.

* * *

Oh no. Why is she…

Why is she crying!

No, wait…she’s not really crying. Those are just tears streaming down her cheeks.

Tears of joy.

And her lips are arched into what people call…

A smile.

At last.

I’m so glad.

* * *

I’m so happy.

This has got to be the happiest day of my life.

Not only did he talk to me, he asked me out after school and he…

Smiled at me.

I feel like I can die peacefully now, having seen that radiant smile of his.

Oh the bliss, the joy, the…

“You look pretty when you smile.”

…

What?

Did he just say that to me?

OH MY!

He actually thinks I’m pretty!

Those eyes, those azure blue eyes...

I feel like I can just drown in them.

And I want to.

* * *

She has got to be the prettiest girl around school.

That face, that cute, cute face.

Why haven’t I noticed that until now?

Oh right.

She was always looking at me with those forlorn eyes, and her hair was always covering her face.

And besides, she’s always hiding behind something.

What a cute girl.

Pity you didn’t appear before Joyce, or else you’d be in her place.

My god, I can’t seem to tear away from that face, and what’s going on…my legs…they’re moving on their own!

Well, nothing bad about that.

* * *

He’s coming!

He’s coming towards me!

What am I to do?

Do I embrace him with open arms?

Or do I push him away with force?

What to do? What to do!

And be still my beating heart! Stop thrashing about like a trout on a line!

I need to think…!

Too late!

* * *

She feels so warm…so cosy…to the touch.

She smells of flowers, flowers blooming in the spring, fresh as ever.

And up close, she looks even more adorable.

Why has she evaded me till now?

Why is she still single!

Her breath on my neck…feels so…hurried, yet so…affectionate.

This feeling…is this what people call love at first sight?

This immeasurable sensation…it feels…good.

I think she’s the one, my one true love.

I have finally found you.

* * *

THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.

I’m…in…his…arms.

The one person I want to be hugged most is hugging me.

Oh. My. Goodness!

This feels so good!

It’s as though my prayers are all being answered today!

I’m so happy…I’m so glad…

His eyes, his oh so dreamy eyes…just makes me wanna…

* * *

Her eyes, her now delicate, lucid eyes…staring at me like a chipmunk…

And her lips…pursed together in this insanely tempting manner…

Just makes me lose…control…

Oh my body’s moving on its own again…

This has to stop soon…

But the destination…is…

Awesome.

* * *

Why that little…!

He really went to meet her!

First he hugged her, now he’s doing this!

THIS IS TOO MUCH!

What am I, chopped liver!

I’m your girlfriend for god’s sake!

Stupid moron! Idiot! IDIOT!

You’re gonna pay, Rickson Tan, you are so gonna pay.

And you, Mizuki, will suffer a fate worse than hell.

++++

Stanza Two ---------- End

Secret - Stanza One

Secret

Stanza One – Secret Crush

I can’t do it.

No matter how I force myself, how I scold and hurt myself, I just can’t bring myself to do it.

Why? Why is it so difficult, so tough?

So painful.

I can only look at you from afar, observe your minute movements, giggle at your antics, smile when you smile…

Its painful, but this is the only thing I can do.

For I can never hope to measure up to her, to you, or to anyone else.

And besides…

He can never know about my secret… No one must.

* * *

Why?

Why is it that she always looks at me with such forlorn eyes?

Those sad, sad eyes.

It’s as though they hide a deep mystery, a cruel truth, a terrible secret.

Why do you always obscure your cute face behind a pillar, wall or …

“Rickson! Let’s go! Class is about to start!”

For some weird, inexplicable reason, I feel sad when I see that sad, sad face of hers.

I have only seen her smile once, and it was a wonderful, radiant smile.

Why has it disappeared?

I wonder why.

“I’m coming.”

* * *

Always, always, always.

Why is it always her!

Six months! For the six months we’ve been going out, he’s always noticing that girl!

And its HER at that! THAT girl!

What gives!

How am I paling in comparison to her? What does she have that I don’t?

No matter. You are not getting him. Not in this lifetime.

Not ever.

* * *

“Alright class, remember to turn in your A-math assignments by tomorrow! And have a good day ahead.”

“Thank you Mr. Lee!”

Yet another period has gone by, another segment of another monotonous day has ended.

And I’ve seen your beautiful back view for yet another period.

It’s not much, but its sheer bliss to me.

How I wish you would turn back and say, “Hi, would you go out with me?”

What a nice thought.

* * *

Even now, I can feel her looking at me, her eyes roaming up and down my back, looking for something delicate lost within the folds of my uniform.

And I bet she’s looking at me with those forlorn eyes.

Why? Why is she always trapped in that state of sadness?

No, I have to find out.

I want to see her smile.

“Hey…”

* * *

What!

What’s going on!

Why has he turned around!

Why is he looking at me!

Why is he saying “Hey” to me!

This can’t be happening, this cannot be happening…

But wait, isn’t this what I’ve been wishing for?

This is practically a godsend!

I must calm down… Must…calm…down…

* * *

Is she ignoring me on purpose? Or is she too taken aback by my sudden initiative?

“Erm…you there?”

* * *

No!

I still can’t do it!

I want to say something, but no words would come out!

WHY!

Why is this happening to me right now! This can’t be happening!

Focus girl! You have to concentrate! Snap out of it right now!

“………Hi?.......”

* * *

She replied!

She actually replied!

This is as close to a miracle as I’d get in this day and age.

Time to get some questions answered.

Time to see that wonderful smile of hers.

“Say…why is it that…”

* * *

I did it.

I actually did the one thing that I didn’t think I would be able to do.

I SPOKE to him.

My heart is pounding like crazy!

What’s this?

What is this fluttering feeling in my chest?

It feels…irritating…yet…warming…at the same time.

I guess its true then…my feelings for him…

But why…why has he stopped mid-sentence…

* * *

How can this be?

Why can’t I complete my sentence?

This never happens! It cannot happen! It will not happen!

But that face, that cute, delightful face bearing those forlorn eyes, framed by the wispy locks of her black bobbed hair, accentuating the sweetness of that endearing face.

This is the first time I’ve noticed, but…

She’s beautiful.

* * *

What’s going on?

Why have things come to a standstill?

Is it something I’ve done? Wait no, I haven’t done anything except…

Yeah…I haven’t done anything!

But so has he!

He has yet to complete his sentence, what was he trying to say!

My heart’s burning from the curiosity, set ablaze by the anticipation.

Ah!

* * *

Hmm? What’s going on here?

Why has my dear Rickson turned around to face that introverted autistic girl!

Why is it always her!

“HEY!”

* * *

That voice.

Joyce? Is that her?

Oh no, just when I was about to ask her.

No, it cannot end like this. I have to ask her.

I have to know!

“Meet me at the rear gate after school, okay?”

* * *

Eh?

Is that a…

Date?

He’s gone now, went off with her.

But does it matter?

Be still my beating heart.

I HAVE A DATE WITH HIM!

Am I dreaming? Is this the start of a vicious nightmare? Heaven, are you making fun of me?

Ow! That hurts. Ok, so its not a dream.

This is real.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Will my pain now finally go away?

++++

Stanza One ---------- End